I have the right to express, you have the right to be offended

This blog entry has been in the works for over 2 weeks, since the last week of 2010.  Usually as soon as I post an entry I already start writing the outline for the next one but the craziness of life hasn’t allowed me the opportunity to sit down and expand on that outline.  Usually when faced between writing on this blog and sleeping I choose sleep.

The past 2 weeks have shown a lot of progress on the food front, I have dumped cereal for real food and it’s going very well, he loves sweet potatoes but is still developing a taste for bananas.

I also broke in the food processor and started making baby food for him, it’s actually fun and not that hard.  Thankfully it can be done in batches as it wouldn’t be so much fun if I had to do it on a daily basis.  I’m still using jar food when out of the house because I wasn’t prepared with the appropriate containers for travel.  I like Earth’s Best Organics but that is not covered by WIC so we may end up with Gerber and Beechnut after all, just not full time and not the cereal, I have to draw the line somewhere.

He wouldn’t drink water from a bottle so I tried a sippy cup and he immediately took it so he doesn’t drink from bottles anymore except perhaps at grandma’s house.

A side effect to eating solids is having to say farewell to the nice breastmilk poop.  We are in the “peanut butter” aka transitional poop stage and have once even had a “big boy poop”. The cutest part is when I ask him “are you pooping?” and he says “yeah”, that’s my hint to be more aggressive with EC but I just haven’t gotten around to it, shame on me.

Why go out of my way to note the changes in his poop?  Because I can no longer toss the diaper in the washer and know that it will dissolve away.  Now I wish that I had a diaper sprayer but in the meantime I’ll just have to train myself to use liners on the diapers to simplify things.

On the co-sleeping front, he inherited a rare gene from me, the ability to somehow position himself on the bed so I’m left sleeping on this thin strip of mattress on the edge with no room to move.  He’s been growing but the bed is still several times larger than he is, how does he manage it?  Now I know how my husband feels, lol.

While we’re talking on growing, I have observed that he’s got a cute 2 stage growth process.  He will first bulk up and be all cheeks and leg rolls for a couple of days and then suddenly overnight he’ll stretch out and go back to being long and skinny.  I don’t know if I grew up that way, all of my baby pictures show a long and skinny noodle.

As he becomes a more social creature, we are less paranoid about going out with him.  We have been successful at taking him to restaurants with us, I’ll hold off on going to the movies though.  Shammy is such a ladies man though, he’ll flirt with any woman that will give him attention.  Young or old he’ll give them his cutest smile and bat his eyelashes, it’s so amusing to watch.

I always say “I love you” when I lay him down to sleep, the other night as I was laying him down before I could open my mouth he said “love you” and rolled over to sleep.  I really had to restrain myself from waking him up by squealing, lmao.

He’s also being good at recognizing things from afar, he saw his daddy out the window and he must have been at least 50 ft away yet he pointed at him and said “dadada!”.  He is also pretty bold when he wants something.  The other night he was being fussy and when asked “what he wanted” he leaned out of my arms, picked up the tv remote next to me and started to press buttons to try to turn it on.

Apparently he’s been crawling for months.  Doctors consider rolling for transportation, commando crawl and other movements as crawling.  He does get in the stereotypical crawling position but uses it to turn around to face a different direction, lol.

 

And for this installment’s rants:

This is not a penis measurement contest!  I get that it’s normal to compare babies, can’t help it, no problem I do it too.  What is not normal is to judge your baby in comparison to other ones.  There shouldn’t be a competition about whose baby does what first.  Don’t give me the apples to apples speech, apples from different trees and different colors should not be compared.  They are all normal and perfect for apples.  All babies are normal for their specific genetic makeup and developmental process, moms should stop trying to set the record for who rolls over first, crawls, etc.  Mom also shouldn’t force their babies into activities that they are not developmentally ready for just because somebody else’s baby is doing it.

Some people feel personally attacked because they identify as a practitioner of something that I rant about. First of all, nobody should feel singled out because you are one of over a million parents that does something that I disagree with so it would be unfair to take it up with one person and not the rest of them.

I am not an expert in parenting but I will arrogantly say that I have done more research than the “average” parent. This still doesn’t make me a know it all and I still don’t have a PhD in the subject which is why I get my learning from those that are considered specialists in the field.

Like everywhere in life, Dr. Spock doesn’t agree with Dr. Sears and yet they’re both considered specialists, it’s all about doing your research and determining whose facts make the most sense to you.  Everybody has different priorities and values, all I wish is for people to stop mindlessly jumping on bandwagons.

No, I will never identify anybody by name because I’m just seeking to share MY viewpoint and not attack or embarrass anybody. The only time that I will specifically address somebody directly about their parenting style is if I feel that they’re doing something that endangers their child’s life at which point I will do it privately and show the resources to back up my stance. Will I blog about it later? You betcha! respecting the privacy of the involved parties of course.

In this blog I advocate making educated decisions, whatever they may be. I don’t expect nor intend anyone to parent the exact way I do because this is not a one size fits all subject. What I do intend is to offer food for thought for parents that are either too busy or simply didn’t think to research the background behind their Doctors/ mother/ insert other character’s advice.

And no, this isn’t the first time that I have to give a disclaimer so instead of being redundant I’ll just quote:

Adventures in Mommyhood- week 17

“I happen to have good friends that are passionate about things that I am opposed to. I just skip over those posts and I don’t put anything negative, it’s my personal choice.

! It seems like every single time I post something (or a friend posts something) about breastfeeding or circumsicion, at least someone gets offended and acting like I am attacking them directly. Nothing I post on Facebook is aimed towards anyone but myself, and my fellow natural moms who might want to read the same article. If it doesn’t apply to you, or you don’t want to read it, then skip it. Though I am not as nice as some of my friends, I like to defend myself and I rarely apologize for anything I have said or posted, because again, its NOT aimed at YOU! Get over it!

Despite repeated disclaimers people still manage to get their feathers ruffled over my opinions, I must be doing something right!  I much rather get people upset and thinking than be walking on eggshells, specially on my own virtual home, this blog.

I don’t want to censor myself out of fear of whose wrath I’ll ignite everytime I click the publish button so I’ll reiterate:   none of what I write is intended to be offensive, so please do not take this personal at all. I’m ranting!  But if you do, that is your choice, I respect your decision and lets move on without attacking.

Yet I somehow have a feeling that these words will fall on blind eyes and I’ll continue to get hell from some.  I don’t get my panties in a bunch when someone rants about me and uses my name in their personal space because I stand behind my opinions and actions.  I find that those that get upset have guilt issues that they’re trying to redirect on others, it’s sad. Just because I’m a pacifist I’m not going to stroke anyone’s wounded ego.

Since some have asked where I get my information from I’ll be happy to share.   I don’t pull information out of my ass, I use the internet.  Before you roll your eyes and start lecturing about the lies in the web I’ll go into more detail about my process.  A certain topic will come to my attention through a parenting website, blog or news story, I then do research to see what scientists and doctors have to say about it, this is the part where I get annoyed about how much American science is in bed with the baby industrial complex and end up looking at international scientific research instead.  I will read AP stories, news articles, scientific/ medical journal articles (not always in their entirety, those things can be heavy) and synopsis and excerpts from scientific papers.  I do read a lot of message boards (Mothering, My Best Birth, What to Expect, Diaper Swappers, etc as people tend to share good links and have healthy debate).  I avoid giving much weight to articles in any website that is published or sponsored by the baby industrial complex (Nestle, Similac, Enfamil, Gerber, etc).  I then formulate my decision/ stance on the subject.  So there you have it, my research process is a bit more detailed than reading somebody’s Facebook posting.

For those that want to learn more, the doctors that I respect the most when it comes to pediatrics, parenting, breastfeeding, etc.  Are:

Dr. Greene– renowed for natural pediatrics and author of “Raising Baby Green” and “Feeding Baby Green“, proponent of the “White Out” movement
Dr. Sears– renowned for attachment parenting and alternative vaccination schedules, author of “The Attachment Parenting Book“, “The Vaccine Book” and many more.
Dr. Newman– world renowned breastfeeding expert, author of “The Ultimate Breastfeeding Book of Answers” and more
Dr. Punger– family doctor specializing in breastfeeding medicine and author of “Permission to Mother“.  She was my doctor and Shammy’s pediatrician until our health insurance changed, I miss her.