Adventures in Mommyhood- 4 weeks

Have boobs will sag? A new study revealed that as many as half of all women age 18-25 don’t plan on breastfeeding because they don’t want their breasts to sag. Numerous studies have already shown it’s actually pregnancy that causes saggy boobs, not nursing. Gotta find a way to let young women know their breasts (and vanity) will still be in tact if they choose to nurse? And that even if breastfeeding did ruin breasts it would still be worth it?

I am amazed at how much I love that little man, even when his face is turning purple and he is screaming at the top of his lungs into my ear.

Some days I wonder why I bother putting on a shirt or bra, this little dude is so boob obsessed during the day that I might as well just hang out topless as he’ll be latched once an hour.  Thankfully my boobs get a break at night when he catches up on sleep and only wakes up twice to eat.

Over the last couple of days Shammy is becoming a light sleeper, he’ll sleep fine on my chest but regardless of how long I wait he will wake up and complain as soon as he is laid down to sleep.  Before he would wake up and hang out until he would fall back asleep on his own.  Hoping that this is just another growth spurt or phase.  (after writing this he finally allowed me to lay him down for a nap longer than 5 mins, yay!)

Speaking of growth, it’s amazing (and kind of sad) that he is growing up so fast.  He is already rolling over from his belly (he had been rolling from his back since he was just days old), sticking tongue out when I ask “can I see your tongue?”, opening eyes big I say “eyes”, his first giggle, leaning down on my chest, pulling down on my shirt and latching on to the breast all on his own and many other cute and adorable things.

The other night he somehow managed to take of his diaper while still wearing his jammies, Daddy wakes up to a very wet baby and a diaper that made it’s way into the PJ’s pant leg.  I recalled hearing velcro during the night but thought it was just my imagination.   I still laugh whenever I think about it.

It makes me dread going back to work, as draining as it is to deal with a newborn while home alone all day, I would hate to miss those moments.  This becomes more depressing as time is moving so fast and I find myself looking at the calendar trying to figure out when I’ll be returning to work and the logistics that go along with it.

I need to start figuring out how to fit pumping into my daily routine to start building a stash for back to work, it is tricky with a baby latching on so often.

I keep being presented with examples of how motherhood has changed me.  Recently I watched a chick flick on Netlfix, Valentines Day was sucky in general but I still managed to cry, I didn’t cry at the couple reconciling, I didn’t cry at the best friends finally hooking up, I cried like a baby at the active duty soldier flying 14 hours each way to spend just a couple of hours visiting his son.  Yup, that took me by surprise.

Also a surprise is the fact that I was able to see my parents and not have a nervous breakdown.  As most people know, I have a big personality conflict with my parents which has led me to avoid any real-time interactions for the sake of peace.

They flew to Florida to meet their grandson and son in law and I owed it to Shammy to sallow my pride and hold my issues at bay so that he could meet his grandparents.  So for the first time since I left college my parents have seen where I live.  There is an impromptu family reunion with my siblings and their kids in Orlando tomorrow before my parents fly back but I won’t be able to make it, might as well,  Shammy has demonstrated that he hates long car rides by screaming his lungs off for most of the drive to Miami last week.  It sucks that it’s illegal to take him out of the carrier as it broke my heart that I couldn’t comfort him the way he wanted.

I need to get myself a ring sling, I’m still surprised that I didn’t get one while pregnant, I sure came close plenty of times.  Right now Shammy has to be in the right mood for the baby K’tan, some days he hates it, other days he loves it, can’t never predict which type of day it’ll be.  He loves the Ergo but with the infant insert it becomes too hot for him so I don’t like to have him in it for extended periods of time.  Hoping that the ring sling will make it easier to nurse while on the go as well.  We’ll see…