The Bump Chronicles- week 15
This week’s theme was been discovering my mother identity, I didn’t set out with an agenda, it just worked out that way.
Since none of my close friends are mothers, I have resorted to internet communities for advice and networking, one of the communities that I had joined was the online social group for the What to Expect When Expecting group for moms that are all due on the same month. In the early weeks it was all great and interesting, lots of different viewpoints and styles.
By the time we all entered the second trimester I started to notice that most of the discussions didn’t apply to me. By the time last week when everybody became obsessed about how soon they could have the ultrasound to find out the gender and how they felt like they would die if they didn’t find out now I decided to unsubscribe. I gave it a week and visited again to see if the conversation had changed, it kinda sorta had but still not useful to me.
When a heated debate evolved over whether to use liquid or powder formula in which breast milk was not an option at all I finally took the hint that these were not my type of people and that when I was called a crunchy mama by a member last week I should have taken the hint then.
So I have bid my farewell to mainstream motherhood forums that believe that giving birth is a medical event that requires intervention, away from women that think that having a c-section is a blessing and breast milk is disgusting and I’m seeking to connect with the crunchy type, the hippie tree hugging moms that know that if our body was designed to do it, we most likely don’t need the modern crap being shoved our throats and that know that it was possible to raise a healthy and happy child centuries ago before the invention of baby formula, disposable diapers, Babies R Us and Nintendo.
It’s no surprise to me that my mama identity is so close to my regular identity, it was still interesting to learn the viewpoints from the other side and I can only hope that the mother that is due a week before me and has already had 5 ultrasounds, 4 of them with no medical reason and uses a doppler on a daily basis out of pure obsession can have a healthy baby. I just don’t want to read about it, my hormones just make me want to cry at the unfortunate situation.
So on bump news, last night I jokingly discovered that no matter how much I hold my breath I can’t suck in the little bump, lol.
01/30/2010 @ 4:16 pm
Oh you sweet sweet tree hugger you. I went through a whole lot of what you just described and at the time the internet was not a thing for everyone. But I did what was best for me & freaked out my friends husband and family, I breastfeed and used cloth diapers when at home. If I can help you in any way please feel free to call me. I know we are not close but I hold Fox very dear to my heart & that makes you a very special person in my mind.
I remember talking to him about you & what he felt & I will tell you the light that shines from that man about you if a special thing.
I have 6 kids and now 6 grnadkids. Even though I really am not old enough by today’s standards to have them all. As I said if I can be any help please let me know. If you guys come to Brighids Fire maybe we can sit & talk.
Stay true to yourself, your baby is telling you what he/she needs. I know you are a great person so I feel you will be a great Mother. Lorelei
01/30/2010 @ 7:32 pm
I am happy to keep see you are as expected a true warm hearted woman who believes in the best for her child. Even though I have not been blessed with motherhood yet. I know that I will want to Breast feed and I know that we will not be finding out the baby’s sex. It’s either going to be a boy or girl- anything else – a surprise. As for people not respecting what your desires are only show what we know as the NOW society and I refuse to be a part of that. You need a new car save for one. – It seems everything is I gotta know now- I know with technology we have moved forward with many things but I believe that Child birth, breast feeding and the sex of the baby is a great mystery of being a woman – so I stand by you and say to everyone back off and let us women keep a few more mysteries..With love your friend. Lisa “skyefire”